Hard Times . . .

It's been a very difficult few days for Jamey. His ANC has dropped very low - it's down to 50 right now. When we talked with the doctor last Thursday, she told us that Jamey will probably not be able to go to school for a few weeks (at least not for full days and not consistently). David and I decided that we will keep him home until he has the energy (he has absolutely none) and the counts to go back. We're figuring 2 - 3 weeks. I went into work today and left Jamey home alone in the morning. David came home in the early afternoon (he was able to work from home). I felt so torn, though. While I was there, I really felt like I should be home taking care of Jamey. It's a terrible feeling - guilty no matter what (although mothers know this feeling well). I talked with my friend Monica while I was at work, and she reminded me that I was being ridiculous - that my place is here with Jamey and that the school will be fine. She totally understands what I'm going through because she's going through it with her mother. Anyway, after my conversation with her I told my principal that I will need to take the time off so I can be home and take care of Jamey. He was very supportive (as he has been throughout this ordeal). We really appreciate that. I can't imagine having to worry about my job on top of all of this. I feel pretty comfortable with this decision - Jamey is in pretty bad shape. He was pretty happy to be staying home.

We are hoping that a home teacher will come to work with Jamey while he is home. Meanwhile, I will work with him about 1 - 2 hours per day so he doesn't fall behind. The PPW was supposed to have this ready, but it wasn't. I feel like this has been a very contentious year with his school. I've spent more time and energy there . . . it makes me sad to think that his last year in elementary school will be so difficult. I hope the rest of the year will be better - once he's on maintenance.