August 11, 2007

I wasn't going to write tonight, but it's a bit therapeutic for me, so here I am. We had a great day - Jamey spent much of it with his friend William, who is sleeping over. I'm so glad that he is feeling well.

Today we went to the pool with a wonderful friend, Michelle, and her kids, and we were talking about the last few months. Every day I relive going to the hospital, then calling David, my mom, Ellen (who came over and watched the other kids so David could come to the hospital - thank G-d), then everyone else when the morning came. I still can't believe that this is our life - our Jamey - and that he has to go through so much. I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop - hoping that he will stay in remission, but knowing that it is possible that he doesn't. Every week when he gets his blood tests, I wait with bated breath until the results come back that he is still okay. It's impossible to ever completely relax. In my mind I know that he is going to be fine (and I truly believe it with every fiber in my body), and I am very positive (and so is Jamey). The newness of it, though, is still too fresh in my mind - and we're still going through so much on a daily basis.

This experience has certainly taught me a lot, though. I have really treasured this summer with the kids. Usually by the end of the summer I am thinking that it is time for the kids to go back to school - feeling that they are getting antsy (and so am I), but this year I feel differently. I am really dreading going back to work (which is strange because I enjoy my job), and I am dreading the kids going back to school. I know part of it is because I will no longer be with Jamey all day every day (which makes me a bit nervous), and part of it is because the boys, David and I have really enjoyed being with each other so much.

This experience can pull a family apart or pull them together. We are certainly getting closer - continuously bonding with each other. I feel that this is not only true with David and the kids, but also with my family and David's family, as well as with our friends. Everyone has done an incredible job of helping us and supporting us. All of that helps keep us going. Thank you!!!